Influence Of Parents-In--Law On Marriage Break-up: A Delicate But Devastating Reality

 

The intricate chain of family relationships can sometimes become a cayalyst for marital discord, with parents-in-law playing an unintentional role in the breakdown of marriage. The delicate balance of family dynamics can sometimes be disrupted by the well-meaning but misguided parents-in-law, leading to the unfortunate consequences of marriage break-up. One of the primary ways parents-in-law can contribute to marriage break-up is through excessive interference in the couple's life. When parents-in-law overstep their boundaries, it can create tension and conflict within the family. For example, if a mother-in-law constantly criticizes her daughter-in-law's culinary (cooking) or parenting skills, it can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. 

In like vein, if a father-in-law tries to control his son's financial decisions or career choices, it can create a sense of suffocation and undermine the couple's autonomy. Another way parents-in-law can contribute to marriage break-up is through their unrealistic expectations. When parents-in-law have unrealistically high expectations from their child's marriage, it can cause a whole lot of tensions and conflicts in the family. It brings undue pressure on the couple. For example, if parents-in-law expect their child to produce grandchildren immediately, it can lead to stress and anxiety within the family. Similarly, if parents-in-law expect their child to maintain traditional family values or customs, it can create a conflict if the couple has different values or beliefs. Additionally, if the couple belong to different religious sects, both families may begin to woo one from the other religion to join their own religious sect. If each of the partners refuse to be converted to their religions, it can make the families to hate them.  

The impact of parents-in-law on marriage relationships cannot be over-emphasized either on the score of moral or design. It has a far-reaching and devastating consequences on the marriage relationships indeed. For the couple, it can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and helplessness. The continued interference and criticism by parents-in-law can erode couple's confidence and create a distrust. For the children, it can lead to emotional distress and confusion. Children often struggle to understand why their grandparents and parents are in conflicts, and this can create a sense of insecurity and instability to them. Many years ago, I personally knew a young lady whom her father allegedly gave a substance suspected to be poison to put into her husband's food. Her husband was a highly placed civil engineer in a German multinational company in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria. The company built oil exploration rigs in the highseas in Nigeria. The young woman bluntly refused to do what her father who visited from the village told her to do. Her father persuaded her to lace her husband's food with the substance he gave to her. She objected to do it. 

Now, her father lied to her that the substance, if eaten by her husband, will make him to love her more. Not only that, she was further deceived to believe that the substsnce had the ability to keeping her husband away from having any illicit or extramarital affairs with other women outside their matrimonial home. Once her daughter heard it, she received the substance from her father with alacrity. But, she did not sincerely know that what her father brought with him from the village was poison. So, she laced her husband's food with the substance that night and brought it to the dining table for him. He ate the food and died immediately. She killed her husband, though unknowingly. There are several other cases like that from different latitudes of the Earth where husband or wife died in the hands of evil parents-in-law, or were separated permanently just because of one single visit by parents-in-law to the couples in the cities, or even abroad. Not all couples are wise enough to discern the true personalities of their parents-in-law. Some couples know their parents-in-law too well. They cannot allow them to visit them for once because they know what they can do. In contrast to that, foolish couples invite their Satan-appointee parents-in-law to their houses despite their awareness of the diabolical track records of their parents-in-law. They may succeed in killing them or terminating their marriages. They know that their parents-in-law are murderers. Yet, they are lily-livered to tell them not to come near them. 

To mitigate the negative impact of parents-in-law on marriage, it is essential to establish clear boundaries and communication channels. Couples should have open and honest discussions with their parents-in-law about their expectations, needs, and boundaries. Parents-in-law should respect these boundaries and avoid interfering in the couples' marriage. Couples should prioritize their relationships and make time for each other, a thousand miles away from the influence of parents-in-law. When a husband or wife loves his/ her parents more than the partner, the possibility of that marriage breaking up is above 80%. If the woman which unknowingly poisoned her husband had been closer to her husband than her father, she would have shown him that substance. The man would have been compelled to love her more than before for saving his life. But, unfortunately, while they were called husband and wife, they were not close lovers. Some information we hide from our partners may lead us or our partners to death. There are many couples across the world who prefer the men and women nextdoor to their own husbands and wives. That is an anomaly! Often in marriage, there is the foolish tendency of thinking and believing that the man or woman nextdoor is better than our own. In the actual sense of it, it is not true. You are better than some people that you feel inferior to.

 Couples can benefit from seeking help of a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance on how to sail through the complex family relationships. Therapists can help couples develop effective communication strategies, manage conflicts, and establish healthy boundaries with their parents-in-law. So many marriage break-ups across the world are traceable to the evil activities of parents-in-law. Here are some examples:

* Africa:

1. Nigeria:

A 2019 report said that 50% of Nigerian couples who got divorced cited conflicts with parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: Vanguard Nigeria)

2. South Africa:

A 2018 survey revealed that 30% of South African couples who got divorced cited interference from parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: News 24)

* Asia:

1. India:

In 2019 survey, 60% of Indian couples cited interference from parents-in-law as a major reason for divorce. (Source: Times of India)

2. China: 

A 2020 report said that 40% of couples in China who got divorced cited conflicts with their parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: China Daily)

3. Japan:

A 2018 report said that 25% of Japanese couples who divorced their partners cited interference from parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: Japan Times)

* Europe:

1. UK:

A 2019 survey revealed that 20% of Britons who got divorced cited conflicts with parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: The Guardian)

2. Germany: 

A 2018 report said that 25% of German couples who got divorced cited interference from parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: Deutesche Welle)

 * Americas:

1. United States:

A 2019 survey found out that 15% of Americans who got divorced cited conflicts with parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: Huffington Post)

2. Brazil:

A 2018 report revealed that 30% of Brazilian couples who got divorced cited interference from parents-in-law as a major reason. (Source: Folha de S. Paolo)

The above statistics is inexhaustive. They invariably illustrate the global prevalence of the spate of parents-in-law interference in their children's relationships, contributing to divorce across the world. 

In summary, we can see clearly here that marital bliss can quickly turn into marital strife and sorrows when parents-in-law overstep their boundaries, creating tension, conflicts, and ultimately, the total breakdown of the marriage. By establishing clear boundaries, prioritizing communication, and seeking help from experts when needed, couples can mitigate the negative impact of their parents-in-law and build a stronger and more resilient marriage. Watch over your marriage, lest the delicate balance of family dynamics becomes a catalyst for marital discord.

Please, kindly share this post with your friends and loved ones. They may like it. Thank you very much.