Wives Running Away From Matrimonial Homes With Children

 The phenomenon of wives running away from their matrimonial homes with children to unknown destinations is increasing daily. The decisions of wives to escape from husbands with children to undisclosed destinations is a complex issue that can have different motivations and outcomes. This phenomenon highlights the challenges and gory experiences that ill-fated women face in their marriages, often leading them to take drastic measures to ensure safety and well-being. One of the major reasons women flee their matrimonial homes with their children to undisclosed destinations is domestic violence. Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse can create a toxic environment that makes it impossible for women to stay. In such cases, leaving their husbands' homes with their children becomes a necessary option to escape and find safety. For example, a woman who has been subjected to years of beating, manhandling, and emotional trauma may feel that running away from her husband's house with the children is her only option to protect herself and her children. I knew one young lady from my community whom her husband used to ferociously beat to a pulp for many years until he killed her. The family of the late young lady arrested their late daughter's husband and took him to court. The man was tried, convicted, and hanged. There was another murder case of a popular gospel singer in Nigeria who underwent many years of tortures in her husband's hands until he finally killed her. I do not know what has become of him at this point. But, from all indications, he stands to be convicted and hanged because his own children witnessed against him as killer of their mother. In some cases, it is men who afflict their wives in the families. In other cases, it is the womenfolk that is at fault--- they terribly opppress and afflict their weak husbands until they kill them through much sufferings. There are other cases whereby the wives killed their husbands in order to take over their business empires and landed assets. This type of killings are usually through food poisonings. Some other women kill their husbands because of the physical and emotional abuses meted out to them by their husbands. But, my question is, if a wife wants to run away from her husband's house, is she supposed to take the man's children with her to a destination that is unknown to the man, where he cannot find them forever? Is such actions by aggrieved wives morally right? If the fleeing wife does that, what will the husband do, especially if he does not have another wife or children? 

There was a woman who ran away from her husband's house with their children to an undisclosed destination till today. The man, a wealthy man in Lagos, spent many years searching for them both in Nigeria, African countries, and abroad--- but all in futility. Later, he developed a stroke, and died. Up till this moment, nobody knows where they are. What was the man's gain from that marriage relationship? Was that woman's action rational, justifiable, and forthright? Was her action proportional or disproportional to what her husband allegedly did to her? The most disheartening aspect of marriage break-up is the one where wives or husbands savagely kill their own biological children to punish the other allegedly erring ex-partners. This is not a metaphor, exaggeration, or lie. It is a common occurrence in Nigeria. Is it right for either partner to take the hatred to that polar distance? I personally knew a man who killed his two young daughters, both under ten (10) years old, as a punitive measure against his ex-wife, who was on the verge of entering into menopause. It was during the Christmas period. The ex-wife travelled from Lagos to their village during the Christmas festival with those two girls. Prior to that ill-fated trip, a Lagos-based prophetess (now late) told her never to travel to the village with those girls-- that, her ex-husband, had planned to kill those girls to hollow her out. But, against everybody's expectations, she defied the prophetess' advice and embarked on that journey with them. At home, her husband poisoned the girls. Immediately after administering the poison to them, he hurriedly brought them back to their mother. Under thirty (30) minutes, they died in the arms of their mother who was forewarned of the danger ahead of her. Yet, she fell headlong into that cesspool of loss as if she was not foretold of the danger to come. Was that man's action morally right? Was was the children's sins against him? After a period of two years, the woman died. The ex-husband went ahead to marry another woman. Unfortunately for him, the new wife did not conceive not to talk of giving birth to a child. The man also died three (3) years after the ex-wife's death. Both of them had no child when they died. It baffles me to the hilt to see the embers of family dynamics and separation escalate to this level! Should children be killed just because their parents cannot understand themselves and live together-- or at least, separate amicably? Should innocent children who came to the world through us like other children die because of our foolishness and ungodliness? 

Another reason women may leave their matrimonial homes with their children is financial issues. Economic instability or exploitation can pave the way for women to seek for better opportunities for themselves and their children. When women feel that their financial needs are not being met or that they are being exploited, they may decided to take matters into their hands and leave the homes to find a more stable and secure environment. In some cases, they get a better environment. In other cases, they plunge into a hotter oven. It is always 50%-- 50%. It can be either way.

Unhappiness and dissatisfaction in the relationship can also prompt women to leave their matrimonial homes with their children. When women feel unfulfilled or unsupported in their marriages, they may decide it is better to start a new life rather than continue in an unhappy relationship. This decision can be especially difficult when children are involved, but women may feel that it is essential to prioritize their own well-being and that of their children.

 Women who ran away from their matrimonial homes with their children often face significant challenges. Social stigma can be a major obstacle, as they may face judgment or ostracism from family, friends, or community.

Financial struggles are another significant challenge as women may need to support themselves and their own children. Emotional trauma is also a common experience for both women and children in these situations.

Despite these challenges, some are able to find new beginnings (as they call it) and build better lives for themselves and their children. I strongly advise against divorce or the habits of women running away from their matrimonial homes with children. But, if they (women) should do that, let them not hide the children from their fathers. Let them also stop killing the children in the name of vengeance against  their ex-partners. It is vindictive and tantamount to armed robbery to seize and hide a man's children from him just because the woman wants to divorce him. The children do not deserve to die just because of their parents' uncompromising and non-conformist attitudes to one another. Marriage can only be successful when partners understand themselves, show empathy, and forgiveness. There is no perfect marriage anywhere on this Earth, except marriage between a living human being and a corpse! It is only a dead partner that performs excellently. Try to remain in that marriage relationship at least because of the children. No child feels comfortable living with a single parent, whether mother or father. No matter what a single parent gives a child, the child feels empty within him/ her. He/ she is hollowed out. He/ she feels within him/ her that he/ she came to wrong human beings as parents. 

The child knows too well that a vital part of him/ her has been cut off by the attitudes of self-willed and incorrigible parents who could not live together. The pains of parents separation tells on their children throughout their lifetime. They know how their parents' marriage faltered. But, they cannot speak out because they know the implications of doing that at childhood. Children do not deserve to die for an offence they did not commit. Stop doing stupid things in your marriage relationships that can turn around to harm the children. Husbands should stop killing innocent children in the name of vengeance against their erring ex-wives. Every marriage is very unique. It is essential to approach each case with empathy and understanding.

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