Parents' Guide To Combating The 23 Bad Habits In Kids Cont'd (5)

Continued from previous one...

13. Procrastination: 

An English aphorism said that "Procrastination is the thief of time. "  It therefore means that procrastination steals time, resources, achievements, and successful future. Procrastination is one of the bad habits found in both children and adults everywhere in the world. What is the meaning of procrastination? It is the habit of delaying or putting off or deferring or postponing a task, engagement, or decision, often leading to a feeling of guilt, stress, and lost productivity. Procrastination involves intentionally postponing tasks or works even after knowing too well that such postponement will bring negative consequences. It means deferring to tomorrow what we should have done today because we want to procure an unnecessary comfort and leisure to the body, or give an attention and time to what we should have discarded and thrown overboard into the sea of forgetfulness. Procrastination is the bane of achievement and fulfilment! It can't be found or mentioned anywhere in the arena of great men of all ages! It steals visions, goals, and ambitions. It is a friend of talkertives and daydreamers. It is not visionary, thoughtful, and success-oriented. It is the foundation of failure and poverty. Those who tread the path of procrastination are not remembered when they are alive, not to talk of when they dead and interred. Procrastination is an ill wind that blows no one good!

Narrowing it down to the lives of children, it has a long-lasting impacts on them academically, emotionally, and socially. The impacts of procrastination on children are as follows:

a. It leads to missed deadlines and targets  because the child involved did not leave his/ her comfort zone to make adequate preparation for the appointed time and date. It leads to incomplete assignments and poor academic grades.

b. It makes children to miss a life-time opportunity to acquire sound education and overall development.

c. It breeds low esteem.

d. It stands as a wall between the child and success. The child can never be successful when he/ she is tied to the apron call of procrastination.

Procrastination can be prevented through the following ways:

a. Procrastination can be prevented by establishing a daily routine (schedule) for home works, domestic chores, and leisure activities.

b. Large tasks should be broken down into smaller ones and carried out easily.

c. Parents should help children set specific achievable goals and deadlines for tasks execution.

d. Positive reinforcement is necessary for preventing procrastination. A child should be commended for completing a task and achieving a goal under a specified timeframe.

e. All children should be taught time management, prioritization of tasks and goals, and avoidance of distractions.

f. Identify the causes of procrastination and develop strategies to eradicate it. 

g. Parents, guardians, caregivers, and school authority should set good examples for children to emulate.

14. Bullying:

This is one of the most widely known bad behaviours in kids across the world. It is is a planned and repeated attitude of harming, intimidating, or humiliating another person through physical, verbal, or social means. Bullying occurs in many settings: schools, communities, and online platforms. It has an incomparable attendant severe emotional and psychological impacts on the victimized individual. In this maddening bad habit of bullying a child or student, as the case may be, the bully makes himself/ herself a demigod or superhuman, and begins to ride on the crest of waves, killing and maiming and destroying others as he/ she goes. Bullying is as old as the Earth itself. It is a common occurrence in the schooling systems of the world. Children, teenagers, and adolescents from affluent families tread on the right and dignity of others. They see themselves as lords of the lands, and the other pupils and students as vassals or slaves. In fact, there are even cases when the bullies do not belong to the blue blood families, but are sons and daughters of ragtag farmers and herdsmen wandering in the arid deserts with cattle. So much havoc has been done in the dim past centuries by these erring mischievous boys and girls referred to as bullies. Innocent pupils and students have been killed, maimed, and tortured and traumatized by these faceless bullies. Candidly speaking, the impacts of bullying on the Earth are better imagined than told. Many parents, guardians, and caregivers have lost their beloved sons and daughters to the bullies in both primary schools, colleges and tertiary institutions. The bullies and their indulgent parents who failed to inculcate morals into their lost children usually end up pleading for forgiveness, whereas they have killed others. 

International organizations have condemned bullying in strong terms stressing its severe impacts on children's wellbeing, education, and social development. For example, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has, in furtherance of its policy against bullying and other acts of violence against children, declared the first Thursday of November as the International Day Against Violence and Bullying at Schools. This initiative, no doubt, seeks to raise awareness on the consequences of bullying and promote safe, and inclusive learning environments. The UNICEF's anti- bullying Week ( first Thursday of every November) is a time for all of us to think about how we can develop positive relationships in schools based on understanding and empathy. The UNICEF said, "Your child has the right to a safe and nurturing school environment that respects their dignity. All children have the right to an education, and protection from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse. Bullying is no exception." The UN Special Representative of the Secretary-General on Violence against Children, Marta Santos Pais, said, "Being protected from bullying is a fundamental human right." Every child, yours and mine included, has the right to go to school safe from violence, including from their peers. Children also have the right to privacy, freedom of expression, and life. 

Impacts of bullying are as follows:

a. It causes feelings of depression, low esteem, and sadness. 

b. Victims of bullying are usually isolated, struggling to get their forms again and maintain relationships with others.

c. Victims lack ability to study very well because they feel insecure and vulnerable to attack. 

d. The trauma of bullying makes victims to score low grades in both classroom tests and examinations because of distractions.

e. Bullying causes death (I personally know some secondary schools and universities where students were killed). 

The bad habit of bullying can be prevented by the following ways:

a. There should be proactive zero-tolerance policy for bullying and other facets of violent activities in the schools. 

b. Develop a character education programme to promote empathy and kindness.

c. An adequate supervisory personnel should be provided in all the areas or places where bullying is commonplace, including hostels, cafeterias, playgrounds, hallways, tennis courts, and swimming pools.

d. Provide counseling and support groups for victims of bullying.

e. Bullies should be roundly held responsible for their actions. They should be detained in correctional facilities or penitentiaries, or suspended straightaway from schools.

f. Parents, guardians, caregivers, and school authority, and community should all be engaged in the combat against bullying through workshops, seminars, meetings, and volunteer opportunities.

g. Monitor and evaluate the effectiveness of your bullying prevention mechanism programmes to know if you are progressing or not, and where to make adjustments for greater results.

h. Encourage conflict resolution education programmes.

15. Excessive talking back: 

This is one of the worst habits that kids perpetrate. Excessive talking back by children to parents and authority, as its name implies, refers to the habitual and insulting behaviours of arguing, contradicting, or rudely answering back to parents and authority defiantly. This evil attitude in children can be persistent and deliberate, often challenging parents' authority, and eroding family dynamics. 

The UNESCO has emphasized the importance of promoting respectful communications, social skills, and emotional intelligence in children. The UNESCO's Focus on Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is essential for children's overall development, including their ability to communicate effectively and respectfully. The UNESCO's Key Life Skills Programmes highlight the importance of developing skills such as:

a. Self-awareness,

b. Self-regulation,

c. Motivation,

d. Empathy, and

e. Effective communications.

These skills, it is hoped, can go a long way to helping children develop respectful communication habits, and reducing the likelihood of excessive talking back. The impacts of excessive talking back include: 

a. Excessive talking back causes strained  relationships between children and parents, guardians, caregivers, and school authority (teachers).

b. Excessive talking back is an embodiment of disrespect and lack of empathy.

c. It causes shame and social stigma because peers and playmates will avoid interactions with the bad-mannered child.

d. It pitches the child against the school authority and law enforcement agencies.

The following are remedial measures to excessive talking back: 

a. Parents, guardians, caregivers, and authority should demonstrate respectful communications so that the child may learn from observing.

b. Establish clear expectations for respectful communications and consequences for excessive talking back habit.

c. Teach your children to always listen with rapt attention and to respond thoughtfully.

d. Always acknowledge your child's feelings and concerns, teaching him to do the same to others. 

In summary, the bad habits of procrastination, bullying, and excessive talking back in children do not augur well with their overall development. Hence, parents, guardians, caregivers, authority, and international humanitarian agencies should form a coalition aimed at fighting against these bad habits in our children. If this is not done, proper child development will not be possible.

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