Teaching Your Child Resilience In The Face Of Adversity

 As parents, we want our children to grow up to be happy, healthy, and successful in life. However, we must accept the stark reality that life is not a bed of roses. It is full of challenges, setbacks, and ups and downs. The vicissitudes of life do not allow us to achieve all our lofty dreams and aspirations the way and when we want them. Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents, caregivers, and authority to tell their children ahead of time that they will inevitably face adversity in life at one time or the other. Teaching our children resilience is essential to help them sail through the storms of life and come out stronger on the other side. What is resilience? Resilience is the ability to withstand and bounce back from difficult situations. It entails being able to absorb and manage stress, trauma, adversity, reproach, or shame, and to emerge from these experiences with a discovery of a sense of strength and confidence. Resilience is important for children to develop because it helps them to:

1. Cope with stress and anxiety:

Resilient children are better equipped to manage stress and anxiety, which can have a negative impact on their mental and physical health. 

2. Develop problem-solving skills:

Resilient children are more likely to develop effective problem-solving skills, which enable them to navigate complex life situations and challenges.

3. Build strong relationships:

Resilient children are likely to form strong and healthy relationships with others, which are critical for their emotional and social development.

4. Achieve academic and personal success:

Resilient children are more likely to achieve their academic and personal goals, as they are better equipped to handle obstacles and setbacks.

How to teach your child resilience:

As a parent, you cannot surely give your child what you do not have. Teaching your child resilience requires a combination of strategies that promote their emotional, social, and cognitive development. Here are some effective ways to teach your child resilience:

1. Model resilient behaviours:

According to Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory, children learn by observing and imitating the actions of their parents and things that happen in their immediate environments. So, it is essential that parents model resilient behaviours for their children to emulate. Share your own experiences of overcoming adversity and demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms.

2. Encourage emotional expression:

Teach your child to recognize, express, and manage his/ her emotions in a healthy way. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and validate their emotions.

3. Foster a growth mindset:

Teach your child that mistakes and failures are the roadmaps and opportunities for learning and growth. It is not bad to try and fail. We learn and strive for excellence through failing! Failure is the tonic for champions. Those men and women who have not experienced failures cannot accomplish significant achievements. Tell your children to take risks and view challenges as chances and avenues to develop new and better skills.

4. Develop problem-solving skills:

Encourage your child to think and reason critically and logically and develop problem-solving skills. Ask open-ended questions that promote creative thinking and encourage them to come up with their own solutions.

5. Provide opportunities for independence:

Gradually give your child more independence as he/ her demonstrates his/ her ability to handle responsibilities. This will help him/ her develop self-confidence and self-reliance. If a child does not develop self-confidence and self-reliance, he/ she cannot go far in this world. 

6. Teach your child coping skills and strategies:

Teach your child healthy coping skills and strategies, such as deep breathing, positive utterances, and committed hard works. Your child needs to make positive confessions and work hard to accomplish success.

Obviously, without positive confessions and hard work, and appropriate goal settings, success will always be elusive. Teach your child NOT to set unrealistic goals as such will surely bring disappointment at last, after dissipating much resources. 

7. Offer positive reinforcement and support:

Provide positive reinforcement and support to help your child develop a positive self-image. Here are some inspiring examples of popular persons across the world who overcame adversity to achieve monumental success:

* Business champions:

1. Steve Jobs:

Co-founder of Apple, Jobs was adopted, dropped out of college, and was fired from his own company. He later returned to Apple and led the company to become one of the most valuable in the world. 

2. J. K. Rowling:

Author of the Harry Potter series, Rowling was a single mother living on welfare when she began writing her books. She faced rejection from 12 publishers before one finally agreed to publish her work.

3. Richard Branson:

Founder of Virgin Group, Branson dropped out of school at 16, and struggled with dyslexia (a neurodevelopmental disorder which affects learning). He went on to build a business empire with over 400 companies.

* Entertainment industry:

1. Oprah Winfrey: 

Media mogul and former talk show host, Winfrey grew up in abject poverty, was abused as a child, and became pregnant at the age of 14. She went on to become one of the most influential women in the world.

2. Jim Carrey:

Actor and comedian, Carrey grew up in a low-income household, and once lived in a van with his family for some time. He went on to become a Hollywood star and earns millions of dollars. 

3. Drew Barrymore:

Actress, Barrymore grew up in a dysfunctional family, was a child star, and struggled with addiction. She went on to become a successful actress and producer.

* Athletes:

1. Michael Jordan:

Basketball legend, Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. He went on to become one of the greatest basketball players of all time. 

2. LeBron James:

Basketball star, James grew up in deep poverty and was raised by a single mother. He went on to become a four-time NBA champion, and one of the highest-paid athletes in the world. 

3. Bethany Hamilton:

Professional surfer, Hamilton lost her arm to a shark attack at the age of 13. She went on to become a world champion surfer, and inspired millions of people with her determination. 

* Politicians:

1. Nelson Mandela:

Former President of South Africa, Mandela spent 27 years in prison for fighting against apartheid regime. He went on to become the first black president of South Africa and Nobel Peace Prize winner.

2. Barack Obama:

44th President of the United States, Obama grew up in a low-income household, and was raised by a single mother. He went on to become the first African American president of the United States.

3. Malala Yousafzai:

Nobel Peace Prize winner and education activist, Yousafzai survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban for advocating for girls' education. She went on to become a global symbol of courage and resilience.

The above individuals are testaments to the human spirit's ability to overcome adversity and achieve greatness. Their stories should inspire weak minds to strive and persevere in the face of challenges, sufferings, and trials, and never to give up on their dreams and objectives. Let's give every dream a fighting chance. 

In summary, teaching your child resilience is one of the greatest gifts or legacies you can bequeath to him/ her. By modeling resilient behaviours, encouraging emotional expressions, fostering a growth mindset, developing problem-solving skills, providing opportunities for independence, teaching coping skills and strategies, and offering positive reinforcement and support, you can help your child develop the resilience he/ she needs to navigate life's challenges. Remember, resilience is not an innate trait, but rather a skill that can be developed over time with practice, patience, and support.

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