Impact Of Domestic Violence On Children's Development

 

Domestic violence is a pervasive and devastating issue that affects millions of families across the world, impacting on child's early development. Children's exposure to domestic violence is such a horrible experience that it drastically affects children's emotional, cognitive, social, and physical development. The experience is so disheartening that it influences a child's ability to form healthy attachment with the mother, regulate child's emotions, and develop essential life skills.

Domestic violence imparts early child development through the disruption of attachment between mother and child. According to John Bowlby's and Mary Ainsworth's Attachment Theory, children are raised, nurtured, protected, and catered for by their mothers. They feel secured, protected, and comfortable under the attachment with their mothers. Immediately there exists a domestic violence in that family, the children will know it. As a result of that, they feel that they are unlucky to be under the custodian of wrong parents. They become uncomfortable and withdrawn from parents, caregivers, peers, and everyone around them. Children who witness domestic violence usually end up developing a sense of insecurity attachment styles, struggling to form reliable relationships with parents and others in the families. As long as the husbands and wives are fighting in their homes in the presence of children, they begin to show signs of dislike to both parents. They children begin to doubt the parents' love for them. The love and intimate affection they used to receive from parents, especially their mothers, are not available any longer. It would be difficult, if not impossible, for a mother who is perturbed by the ceaseless domestic violence in her home to show love and affection to her child the way she used to do in the past. Hence, the attachment between mother and child wanes and falters when the mother is in trauma and afflictions. 

Domestic violence can also impact a child's cognitive development, affecting his/ her ability to learn, solve problems, make informed decisions, and regulate his/ her emotions. Children exposed to domestic violence may experience increased stress, anxiety, hypervigilance, making it challenging to focus, learn, and develop essential cognitive skills. Domestic violence leads to changes in brain structures, particularly in the region responsible for memory, emotional regulation, and learning. A child living in a home where there are conflicts cannot have peace of mind and retentive memory necessary for learning. That is why they cannot pass their examinations with flying colours. The brain does not always work well when the mind is encumbered with so much troubles and pains. 

The impact of domestic violence on early child's development can be seen clearly in many parts of the world. For example:

1. In Nigeria, the spate of domestic violence is ascending daily with disastrous implications for child's early development and growth. Divorce has become a norm in the Nigerian society, with several, several thousands of children suffering from depression, trauma, and stress, as a result of domestic violence and its attendant causes of divorce. The trend in Nigeria today is divorce and single motherhood. Millions of Nigerian children today are living with women who call themselves "single mothers". They are the women who refused to obey their husbands because they are too educated and earn more salaries than their husbands. They made competitions with their husbands, and not peace and tolerance. They turned their homes into battlefields by throwing forgiveness and caution into the thin air. Their education does not recognize submission and humility. They are proud peacocks who want their husbands to be under their whims and caprice. They obey and carry out the instructions of their parents more than husbands right in their husbands homes. These are the causes of domestic violence.

2. In South Africa, research reported that domestic violence is a leading cause of trauma and stress for children. 

3. In the United States, studies indicate that not less than two million children are exposed to domestic violence annually.

4. In the United Kingdom, confirmed studies reported that over 750, 000 children witness domestic violence every year.

5. In Australia, it is estimated that one in every four children under the age of 18 has witnessed domestic violence. 

The impact of domestic violence on early child's development can be seen in various contexts. For example:

1. A child who witnesses his/ her mother being ferociously beaten to a pulp by her husband may develop fear, anxiety, and aggression, struggling to regulate emotions and form healthy relationships. When children witness domestic violence, there is the possibility that they will learn it from their parents against their marriage partners in future. Do you doubt this assertion? According to Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory, children learn by observing and imitating their parents' behaviours. That is why it is necessary for parents and caregivers to model good manners for their children to emulate. If not, the children will learn the evil behaviours and put them in practice at adulthood. For example, I attended one Child Development Conference in Lagos, many years ago. One of the speakers was a renowned professor. In the course of delivering his speech, he told us the story of one male teenager whose parents lived next to his house. The professor said that he saw a boy who was firmly and tenaciously holding his younger sister's (sibling) head right under his armpit, and was hitting her head furiously. He quickly ran to separate them from fighting. According to the professor, he asked the boy, "Why should you treat your younger sister mercilessly this way?" To the professor's greatest chagrin, the boy answered, and said, " Sir, I am just showing her a little of what I learnt from my father." The professor said that he was dumbfounded to hear that from the boy. By extension, the boy's father beats his wife by forcing her head into his armpit. From what the boy said, "... a little of what I learnt from my father.", it means that there are other vices stored up inside of him that he learnt from his father. So, what would be the fate of any wife the boy marries at adulthood, since there are already weaponry awaiting her? Therefore, Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory is 100% true! 

3. A toddler who is exposed to verbal aggression may develop language delays, behavioral problems, and difficulty with social interactions.

4. A preschooler who witnesses domestic violence may exhibit increased aggression, withdrawal, and regression, struggling to cope with his/ her emotions and environment. 

In conclusion, the impact of domestic violence on child's development is a critical issue that requires attention, holistic approach, support, and action. Parents and caregivers should endeavour to develop effective interventions, support services, and policies to mitigate these impacts and promote healthy environment. By working in unison to address domestic violence, we can help children heal, thrive, and reach their heights in life. 

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