Helicopter Parenting: Its Characteristics, Advantages, And Disadvantages

 Helicopter parenting is a style of parenting characterized by intense involvement and over-protection. The helicopter parents hover over 100% of their children's affairs, constantly monitoring and managing their experiences. This style of parenting has become increasingly prevalent in recent years, with many parents seeking to protect their children from harm and ensure that they are successful. However, helicopter parenting can have both positive and negative effects on children, and it is essential to understand its characteristics, advantages, and disadvantages. 

One of the primary characteristics of helicopter parenting is constant supervision and excessive monitoring. Helicopter parents often insist on being constantly informed or consulted about their children's activities, whereabouts, interactions, and engagements. They may require their children to check in regularly, monitor their social media accounts, check their phones, and even attend school events and meetings with teachers. For example, in the United States, some parents have been shown to attend college orientation with their children, sparking debates about the appropriateness and suitability of such involvements. 

Another characteristics of helicopter parenting is over-in problem-solving. Helicopter parents often step in to solve problems for their children, rather than allowing them to develop their own problem-solving skills. This can include intervening in conflicts with peers, contacting teachers about academic issues, or even calling potential employers on behalf of their children. In some countries like South Korea where academic achievements are highly valued, helicopter parents may be particularly involved in their children's education, often to the point of being overly controlling. 

Helicopter parenting can have some few advantages, such as increased safety and security for children. By being constantly vigilant, helicopter parents can help prevent accidents and ensure their children's physical well-being. Additionally, helicopter parents may be more likely to be involved in their education and extracurricular activities, which can lead to better academic performance and increased opportunities. Helicopter parenting, however, has several disadvantages. These include:

1. It hinders independence:

Helicopter parents often do not give their children enough space to make decisions of their own and learn from their mistakes, which tends to hinder their ability to develop independence or autonomy. For example, a study has shown that students who had helicopter parents were more likely to struggle with independence in college.

 2. It increases anxiety:

Constantly being monitored and managed by helicopter parents can create anxiety in children, as they may feel like they are not trusted to make their own decisions. Actress Lori Loughlin's children, for example, faced severe criticism for their lack of independence and entitlement, which most people attributed to their parents over-involvements in their college admissions process. 

3. It damages parent-child relationships:

Helicopter parents can create tension and conflict with their children, who may feel suffocated by their constant involvement. For example, the "Varsity Blues" scandal, in which several weakly parents were charged with cheating on behalf of their children to get into top colleges, highlighting the potential damage that helicopter parenting can cause to parent-child partnership (attachment). 

4. It decreases resilience:

By constantly intervening on behalf of their children, helicopter parents can deprive them if the opportunity to develop resilience and learn from their mistakes. A study found that children of helicopter parents were more likely to experience depression and anxiety due to lack of resilience.

5. It leads to entitlement:

Helicopter parents often do things for their children that they should be doing for themselves, which can create a sense of entitlement. Some college admissions scandal defendants were accused of teaching their children that they were entitled to special treatments, regardless of their abilities or achievements. 

6. It affects self-esteem:

Constant criticism and micromanaging can erode a child's self-esteem and confidence. Children of helicopter parents may feel like they are not capable of making good decisions for themselves or achieving their goals without their parents' help.

7. It limits problem-solving skills:

By not allowing children to make mistakes and learn from them, helicopter parents can limit their children's problem-solving skills. A study found that children were given more freedom and autonomy (independence) to make choices developed between problem-solving skills than those who were heavily supervised and monitored.

8. It creates pressure:

Helicopter parents can create pressure on their children to excel academically and extracurricularly, which can lead to burnout and stress. A study has shown that children and students who underwent helicopter parenting were more likely to experience stress and anxiety due to the pressure to perform.

9. It leads to wrong marriage choices and relationships:

The children of helicopter parents are tied to the apron call of their parents. They are not allowed to marry partners of their own choices. Their parents dictate to them whom to marry, and whom they should not marry. By so doing, they end up marrying incompatible partners, leading to family violence, family dynamics, and family conflicts, and divorce. Helicopter parents control their children's friends and peers. If their children's friends and peers refuse to come under their control, they immediately dissuade their children from further associations with their peers. Helicopter parents treat their adult children like new born babies strapped right at their backs. Their children cannot take decisions of their own even if they are able to do so. Helicopter parents easily insult their children's teachers over minor issues. They can even slap teachers in front of other children and students. They are like daring and bold toilet flies which can perch on anything around them with impunity. Their son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws cannot have peace except they agree to come under the helicopter parents' tutelage. They cannot have independence, peace, and freedom as long as they have relationships with helicopter parents children. Nobody pleases helicopter parents. Nobody teaches them. They know everything!

In conclusion, helicopter parenting is a complex parenting style with more negative effects than positive ones on children's development. While it can provide safety and security, it can hinder independence (autonomy) and damage the parent-child relationship. By understanding the characteristics, advantages, and disadvantages of helicopter parenting, parents and caregivers can make informed decisions about how to balance their involvement with their children's needs, promoting healthy development and well-being.

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