Effects Of Parents Fighting In The Presence Of Their Children

 The effects of parents fighting in the presence of their children are many and condemned in strong terms. It has a profound impact on their emotional, psychological, and social development. When parents engage in frequent and intense conflicts, it creates a stressful and unpredictable environment that can have a negative impact on children's development and well-being. Fighting in the presence of children means that parents are modeling the habit of fighting and aggression for their children to emulate. According to Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory, children learn by observing and imitating their parents and others in the environment. Therefore, parents who fight in the presence of children have indirectly taught them to fight their wives and husbands when they grow and get married in future. 

The children of fighting partners are very likely to behave like their parents when they get married. I attended one seminar in Lagos some years ago. One professor who delivered a lecture said that he once saw two siblings, male and female, fighting in his neighbourhood. The boy tenaciously held the head of his younger sister and forced it into his left armpit, and began to hit her head furiously with a clenched fist. He immediately ran to them to separate the fight. He asked the boy, "Why should you beat your younger sister ferociously like this? The professor said that the boy replied to him, and said, "She has seen nothing yet. I'm teaching her the lesson I learnt from our father." So, you can see that Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory which said that children learn by observing and imitating their parents and environment is correct. The boy learnt the fighting habit from his pugnacious father. Understanding the likely causes and impact of parents fighting in the presence of their children is crucial for developing effective strategies to mitigate it and promote healthy family relationships.

Unresolved conflicts and communication problems cause parents fighting in the presence of their children. When parents are unable to communicate effectively, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise, leading to arguments and fights. Other causes of parents fighting in the presence of their children include financial stress, differences in parenting styles, and dearth of emotional support and intimacy. For example, research has shown that parents who experience crippling financial stress are more likely to engage in conflict, which can have a negative impact on their children's emotional and psychological well-being.

The impact of parents fighting in the presence of their children can be very severe and persistent. Children who witness frequent and intense conflicts between their parents may experience anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. They may also develop behavioral problems, such as aggression, withdrawal, or acting out. In some cases, children may even experience physical symptoms such as headaches, due to the stress and anxiety caused by parents' conflicts. In some cultures, the emphasis on family harmony and respect for authority can sometimes mitigate the negative effects of parents fighting in the presence of their children, while in other cultures, the stigma surrounding family conflicts can exacerbate these effects. 

To mitigate the effects of parents fighting in the presence of their children, it is essential to develop effective strategies for managing conflicts and promoting healthy family relationships. One key strategy is to practise effective communication and conflict resolution skills. This involves active listening, empathy, and problem-solving skills, as well as willingness to compromise and find solutions that benefit everyone. By modeling healthy conflict resolution behaviours, parents can help their children develop essential skills for managing conflicts and building strong relationships. For example, research has shown that parents who engage in regular family meetings and discussions are more likely to develop healthy communication patterns and resolve conflicts effectively. 

Other strategies for mitigating the effects of fighting in the presence of children include the following:

* Seeking support from family therapists or counselors 

* Practising stress-reducing techniques, such as mediation or deep breathing 

* Creating a safe and supportive environment for children to express their feelings and needs 

* Modeling healthy emotional regulation and conflict resolution behaviours 

* Prioritizing quality time and shared activities with children 

In conclusion, the effects of parents fighting in the presence of their children can be profound and long-lasting, impacting on their emotional, social, and psychological development. By understanding the likely causes and impact of parents fighting, and developing effective strategies to mitigate these effects, parents can promote healthy family relationships and support and children's development and well-being. With the right support and guidance, parents can create a more positive and supportive family environment that benefits everyone involved. By prioritizing effective communication, conflict resolution, and emotional support, parents can help their children develop the skills and resilience they need to survive in this life.

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