What Parents Should Do During Children's Rivalry And Fighting

 When siblings fight, it can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience for parents. Sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up, and learning to navigate conflicts is an essential life skill. However, frequent and intense fighting can have a long-term impact on children's development, social skills, and emotional well-being. In many countries around the world, from the close-knit families in Asia to the firm emphasis on individuality in the Western world, parents face homogeneous dilemma: how to intervene during children's conflicts without taking sides or stifling their children's emotional expression. 

Sibling's bickering and infighting can affect children's development in various cultures. On one hand, it can help children develop essential life skills such as conflict resolutions, empathy, and communication. For example, in some African countries, some siblings are encouraged to resolve disputes on their  own, establishing independence, and self-reliance. On the other hand, frequent and intense fighting can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and decreased self-esteem. In extreme cases, it can even affect their ability to form healthy relationships in future. I have seen some cases where siblings' differences and enmity lingered from childhood to adulthood. Some aggrieved adult siblings may even go too far to tell their own children what their siblings did to them when they were young. In some parts of the world, like the Scandinavian countries, parents prioritize teaching children empathy, kindness, and conflict resolution skills from a young age.

When dealing with siblings conflicts, parents should first try to remain calm and not to take sides. Instead, they can encourage their children to express their feelings and concerns, teaching them active listening skills and helping them find a resolution. For example, in some Latin American cultures, family meetings are held to discuss issues and find solutions collectively. Parents can also model healthy conflict resolution skills themselves, as children often learn from observing and imitating their parents' behaviours and environments according to Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory. In many indigenous cultures, elders play a significant role in teaching children important life skills, including conflict resolution and respect for others.

In addition to teaching conflict resolution skills, parents can also try to identify underlying causes of disagreement and fighting, such as jealousy and competition. By addressing these issues, parents can help reduce the frequency and intensity of conflicts among their children. For example, ensuring that each child receives individual attention and praise can help alleviate feelings of jealousy. In some cultures, like in India, family members prioritize showing affection and appreciation for one another, fostering a sense of unity and cooperation. 

In conclusion, while sibling conflicts are inevitable, parents and caregivers can play  a vital role in teaching their children essential life skills and promoting healthy relationships. By remaining calm, encouraging open communication, and modeling healthy conflict resolution skills, parents can help their children navigate the challenges of sibling rivalry and develop into empathetic, confident, and capable individuals. With patience, understanding, and expert counseling, parents can help their children turn sibling conflicts into opportunities for growth and development.

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