12 Financial Issues To Discuss With Spouse Before Getting Married

 When considering marriage, discussing financial issues with your partner is crucial to ensure a strong and stable foundation for your future together. Here are the key financial issues to discuss with your spouse before getting married:

1. Financial history:

Every indviduali has a victory of strengths and weaknesses. What is the financial hsitory of the man or woman you want to get married to? Does he/ she spend or save money? Is he/ she always on a drinking spree? Understanding each other's financial history is crucial to building trust and making informed financial decisions. Discuss your credit scores, past debts, present debts, bankruptcies, and financial mistakes you have made in the past. If you get married without letting your spouse know about these information, it will surely amount to betrayal if he/ she should know about them after wedding. Most women would not like to get married to a man who owes a Mount Everest-size debt waiting to be paid, or loans awaiting servicing. For example , I knew one man who borrowed money from somebody for his wedding. A few weeks after wedding, the money-lender came knocking at his door for his money. We were three persons in the sitting down when the creditor came: the host, his newly-wedded wife, and myself. The creditor and the host went outside to talk, leaving me and the woman in the house. The man was despondent when he came back to the house. His wife asked him who the visitor was, and what he wanted. He had no answer to give the woman. But, she insisted on knowing what transpired between the visitor and her husband. So, her husband hesitantly told her that he borrowed money from the visitor for their wedding. The woman was sad when she heard it. Just as pubilc officers declare their assets before being sworn into office, partners-to-be should do the same to each other in the prenuptial (premarital) agreement. Do not lie to or deceive your partner. Let him/ her know exactly who you are, and who you are not before the wedding takes place. If you do it after wedding, you have betrayed him/ her. Do not expect him/ her to trust you again.

I once knew one man who lied to his wife during courtship. We lived together in the same place. He lied to his wife ( a banker) that he studied Law in the university. He also lied to her that he had two landed assets at choice sites of the city. They fought on the seventh day after wedding. What was the cause of the fight? The cause of the fight was that the wife discovered to her utmost chagrin that her husband was not a lawyer. Secondly, she discovered that her husband had no landed assets anywhere. Her husband was wounded during the fight. He hid everything from me. His wife came to my house and told me that she was deceived. She said that she married a man whom she does not know. She was lured into the relationship! They fought several times. Both of them came to my house on several occasions and reported each other to me. On one occasion, the husband locked out the wife out of the house at midnight. She came to my house that night weeping. I refused to let her inside the house. Rather, both of us quickly went to their house. When her husband heard my voice, he opened the door for her. This marriage was a cockpit of battles. When the woman's mother died, we all went for the first year's remembrance service. 

But, prior to our departure to the remembrance service venue outside Lagos, my friend's wife and her elder sister (a staff of Federal Ministry of Budget) came to my house. They told me confidentially that they were going to poison my friend during the ceremony. They sternly warned me not to eat or drink together with my friend because they planned to kill him for deceivig for his sister. I pretended as if I did not understand what they meant by warning that I should not eat or drink with him. Immediately they left, I went to my friend's office and told him what his wife and her elder sister came to my house and told me. I warned him not to eat any food or drink anything during the remembrance service. I told him that he will most likely die if he eats or drinks anything during the occasion. At the ceremony, they laced his food with poison and set it at the dining table for him. But, he did not eat it. He pretended as if he was stooling and vomiting throughout the ceremony. After the ceremony, they furiously came to my house and told me that I betrayed them by forewarning my friend of their intentions. 

And I said to them, "Yes, I did. I can't watch him die. You can divorce him since the situation has gotten to this stage." Not too long after their visit, they divorced. Some months after the divorce, the woman died. 

2. Budgeting and financial management:

Discussing how you will manage your household after wedding is essential. Will you combine your finances or keep them separate? Agreeing on a budgeting strategy can prevent future misunderstanding and its attendant conflicts. Do well to discuss your spending habits, financial priorities, and goals to ensure that you are on the same page. Tell your partner before wedding about your debts and financial obligations outside of marriage. If you fail to mention it before wedding, do not mention it again. Consider using the 50/ 30/ 20 rule, where 50% of your income goes for necessities, 30% for discretionary spending, and 20% for savings and debt payment. 

3. Sharing goals and financial practices:

Sharing your savings goals and financial priorities can help you work together to achieve them. Discuss your short-term and long-term goals, such as saving for a house, vacation, or retirement. Understanding each other's spending habits and financial values is crucial to avoid conflicts. Discuss your approach to money, whether you are a saver or a spender, and how you make financial decisions. Tell him/ her your financial strengths and weaknesses. 

4. Financial responsibilities and roles:

Deciding who will handle different financial responsibilities, such as paying bills or managing investments, can help to avoid confusion and ensure that financial tasks are covered. Divide financial handling accordingly. 

5. Spending habits and financial values:

Understanding each other's spending habits and financial values is crucial to avoid conflicts. Discuss your approach to money, whether you are a saver or spender, and how you make financial decisions. Tell him/ her your financial strengths and weaknesses.

6. Emergency fund and insurance:

Discussing the importance of having an emergency fund and insurance can help you prepare for unexpected expenses and financial setbacks. Agree on how much to save and where to keep the emergency fund, and discuss the types of insurance you both need, such as health, automobiles, or life insurance. 

7. Retirement planning and long-term financial goals:

Discuss retirement planning and long-term financial goals can help you create a shared vision for your future. Talk about your expectations for retirement, including when you will like to retire, and how you will support yourselves. 

8. Tax implications and financial planning:

Understanding the tax implications of marriage and how you will file your taxes jointly or separately is essential. Discuss your financial goals, including management of taxes, investments, and other financial decisions.

9. Financial future and lifestyle expectations:

Discussing your financial future and lifestyle expectations can help you create a shared vision. 

10. Wedding expenses: 

Discussing wedding expenses can help you plan and budget for your wedding day.  Wlil you split the cost? Will you receive financial contributions from family members?

11. Prenuptial planning:

Considering a prenuptial ageementr can help you protect individuals assets and financial interests. Discuss if a prenup is right for you and your partner or not, and assets that you will like to protect.

12. Estate planning and major purchases: 

Discussing estate planning and major purchases, such as buying a house, can help you create a plan for your financial future. Consider creating a will, establishing powers of attorneys, and discussing how you will make major financial decisions together. 

In conclusion, discussing these twelve financial issues with your partner before getting married can help you build a strong foundation for your future together. By being open and honest about your financial goals, expectations, and concerns, you can create a plan that works for both of you and sets your relationship up for success.

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