Parents Unintentionally Teach Their Children Not To Obey Them

 Without any iota of doubt, parents often unintentionally teach their children not to obey rules through various actions and behaviours that undermine their authority. How far is this assertion true? How can parents who love their children exceedingly turn around to make them disobedient and Iawless? One way that parents contribute to children's disobedience is by being inconsistent in enforcing rules and consequences. Once parents frequently change rules or fail to enforce it, and follow through on consequences, the children will learn and believe that rules and laws are flexible and can be ignored and trampled under the feet. It is more honourable for parents not to make rules in the family at all than to fail to follow it up to the end. When children break rules at home and get away with them, uncensored, unscathed, and without their parents raising eyebrows, it automatically gives them the filip to disobey rules at schools and in the society. That is how it works! For example, a parent who sets a bedtime (sleep pattern) to avoid excessive screen time but frequently changes rules or fails to follow through on consequences is not a serious-minded parent. If a parent sets bedtime by 9pm but frequently allows children to stay up awake to 11pm, that parent may find that his/ her child begins to disregard and disdain the bedtime rule altogether. 

Another way parents contribute to children's disobedience is by not setting clear boundaries and expectations. When rules and expectations are vague and unclear, children may not understand what is expected of them and what is not, leading to confusion and disobedience. For example, a parent who tells a child to "be good" without specifying what that means to the child may find that the child struggles to meet these expectations. 

Not only that, negligent, over-indulgent, permissive, and  helicopter parents are simply clear child-killers. Parents who are overly weak, negligent, permissive, and over-indulgent are habitual to failing to emphasize the need to obey rules or face consequences for failure to obey them. They do not emphasize the principle of cause and effect, the benefits of obeying  rules and the punishment or consequences of disobeying them. Through their helicopter parenting approach, they indirectly teach their children that there is clearly no consequences for any wrong-doing and disobedience, thereby they inadvertently teach their children not to obey rules or laws both at homes and schools. This is where the problem of the global society begins: all societal vices and crimes that people are perpetrating across the latitudes of the world started because nobody firmly stood his/ her ground to stop the curbs (children) from growing into full-fledged lions. Weak, permissive, negligent, over-indulgent, and helicopter parents are responsible for the terrorist activities which have befallen mankind. If they had strongly discouraged those children born and bred under their care, the world may have had some peace and security. Look at the picture in this post. You can see the weak, negligent, permissive, over-indulgent, and helicopter father's mouth being tied by her little daughter. When parents prioritize avoiding conflicts with their children over setting boundaries, children may learn that they can do as they please without anyone forbidding them. For example, a parent who avoids setting limit on excessive screen time may discover to his/ her chagrin that the child becomes overly reliant on screens and resistant to boundaries.

The impact of parents unintentionally teaching children disobedience can be significant. Children who are not taught to follow rules and respect authority may struggle with self-discipline, responsibility, and social skills. They may also have difficulty following rules and expectations in other settings, such as schools which can impact their academic performance and relationships with teachers. Furthermore, children who are not taught to obey rules may develop a sense of entitlement and destitution of respect for authority figures. 

To mitigate these issues, parents can employ several strategies, including the following:

First, they can establish clear rules and expectations and consistently enforce them. By setting clear boundaries and consequences, parents can help children understand what is expected of them and develop self-discipline. Second, parents can model good behaviours themselves. Children learn by observing and imitating parents and the environment around them, according to Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory. So, it behooves parents to model behaviours the type they want their children to emulate. By demonstrating respect, responsibility, and self-control, parents can encourage their children to adopt similar positive behaviours. Third, parents can use positive reinforcement to encourage good behaviours. By praising and rewarding good behaviours, parents can encourage children to exhibit good behaviours. In some countries like Japan, parents place a strong emphasis on respect for authority and elders, and discipline too. Japanese parents often use positive reinforcement and modeling to encourage good behaviours, and children are taught to respect authority figures right from a young age.

In conclusion, parents unintentionally teach their children to disobey them through inconsistent discipline, unclear expectations, over-indulgence, negligence, and permissiveness, and cowardly helicopter parenting. However, by establishing rules and regulations, modeling good behaviours, and using positive reinforcement, parents can encourage obedience and respect for authority. As a parent, why is it that your child does not listen to you? Have you for once sat down and asked yourself why you say one thing repeatedly before your child listens to you? Why is your own biological child unwilling to respond positively to what you tell him/ her? You need to know it from today that children who do not listen and obey have been unintentionally taught by parents in the past not to listen and obey. Yes, I affirmatively say that parents planted the opiate of disobedience in their children! How do parents teach children not to listen and obey? I submit that parents reinforce or encourage children not to listen and obey instructions and rules given to them whenever they ask the child to do something but fail to follow through to effect the consequences of the child's failure to obey the rules and instructions. Children use not-listening-behaviour to get parents' attention. So, as a parent, if you ask your child to do something and he/ she refuses to listen and obey, you need to take an action immediately to ensure that the child does what you asked him/ her to do. If the child refuses to budge, let the corresponding punitive measure be meted out to him/ her so that the child does not permanently remain in self-will, disobedience, and rebellion. 

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